What’s the Point of Journaling?

So, you’ve heard journaling might be helpful for you. But you already know what’s going on in your mind and solve things internally, so… why bother writing it down?

Let’s talk about it.

There’s a difference between journaling and thinking. I know, it sounds like just another thing to add to your already full to-do list. But stick with me. Our minds move fast, especially if you’re the smart, driven, overthinking type. Journaling slows that mental sprint.

It introduces intentional awareness in a way that pure thought can’t.

While your mind loves jumping to the next thing (plans, tasks, imaginary arguments with people who wronged you in 2014), journaling invites you to stay with what’s here. And that matters, especially if you tend to avoid sitting with hard emotions or uncomfortable thoughts. Which, by the way, isn’t a character flaw - it’s just what minds do.

Journaling has this sneaky way of cutting through avoidance when you least expect it. One of my favorite tricks? Write about not wanting to journal. That’s it. Literally just start with: “I’m noticing my mind doesn’t want to do this” or “I’m noticing I’m planning dinner instead.” (Both of which I’ve experienced.) The power is in choosing to stay anyway - to write even when it’s awkward or boring or slightly annoying.

If you’re wondering what the hell you’re supposed to write about, here’s the good news: there are no rules.

When you're just starting out, as I shared above, try writing about the experience of journaling itself. You might actually write, “I don’t know what to write about.” Cool, start there.

Eventually, you can get more specific. Maybe you write about a past relationship, a tense dynamic with a sibling, or something you haven’t been able to say out loud. When we journal, we start to make sense of things that felt tangled in our heads. It’s like talking to someone about a problem, except in this situation, you’re both the talker and the listener, and you get to hold yourself accountable.

Which brings me to my final “why” of journaling - it builds self-trust.

Each time you show up, even in a messy, resistant, low-energy way, you’re strengthening the muscle that says: I can be with myself. I can face what’s here.

You start to notice how you relate to different parts of you. You can even write to those parts - the anxious one, the perfectionistic one, the tired one who’s just over it. It’s surprisingly powerful if you let it be.

I get it - journaling can feel like one more thing to do. And let’s be honest - most of us (myself included) are experts at avoiding the kind of honesty journaling invites. It takes effort. It’s vulnerable. And the only way we grow is to face that vulnerability.

So if you’re wondering whether journaling is worth it, the answer isn’t in how perfectly you do it - it’s in the willingness to show up and see what unfolds.

Too Busy for Therapy? Here’s a Smarter Way to Get the Support You Need

Let me guess: you’ve thought about therapy, but between work, social life, and everything else you have going on, it just never feels like the right time. When you’re busy doing all the things, it makes sense to not make time for one more thing.

This is where intensives come in. I offer intensives to help high achieving women with high functioning anxiety make time to slow down and check-in in a focused multi-hour setting.

Weekly Therapy Doesn’t Work for Everyone

If you’re already juggling a million things, weekly therapy can become just another task to complete. It can be hard to switch out of “productivity mode” to make space to actually process your experiences or talk about the things that you actually want to deal with. It feels easier to put them off for another day, another week. Maybe in the past you’ve tried therapy and felt like you were barely scratching the surface and then it was “time to wrap up” for the day.

The idea of committing to months of weekly appointments might also feel overwhelming - and you might be looking for deeper relief and more meaningful progress sooner than that. 

What Are Therapy Intensives?

Therapy intensives are designed to give you the benefits of multiple sessions in a condensed timeframe. Instead of meeting for 50 minutes each week, intensives are longer, focused sessions (e.g., three hours), with structured pre-work. These sessions allow you to dive deep into the work without the interruptions of daily life, making them an efficient way to create meaningful progress.

How Therapy Intensives Help Busy Women

Therapy intensives offer a space for YOU - this is dedicated, uninterrupted time, and it can be personalized to your needs. For women with high-functioning anxiety and a history of relational wounds, these are helpful because of: 

• Efficiency: Get weeks of therapy done in one focused session, allowing you to see results without a long-term time commitment.

• Deep Focus: Without the stop-and-start of weekly sessions, you can work through challenges more effectively.

• Immediate Takeaways: Walk away with tangible insights and strategies you can apply right away.

• Flexibility: Instead of carving out an hour each week, you can schedule a single intensive when it best fits your calendar.

Ready to Make Therapy Work for You?

Your healing doesn’t have to wait for your schedule to clear up. Whether it’s one intensive or multiple, you have the ability to prioritize your well-being without disrupting your larger life. If you’re curious about how an intensive could work for you, schedule a free consultation to explore your options and take the first step toward meaningful change.

Why Therapy Isn’t About “Fixing” the Problem You Think You Have

If you’re anything like me, you like figuring things out and solving problems. You may have approached your own self-awareness/wellness/whatever-other-label-you-want-to-put-on-it journey the same way - find the thing to fix, and well, fix it. If you’ve done any therapy, you may have sat and told the therapist all that you’ve learned and that if this one thing just changed, things would fall into place.

Sound familiar? It makes sense - feeling calm and in control is an understandable goal. No one wants to constantly live in fight-or-flight or to revisit the same problem over and over again. However, in my experience, it’s not that simple. What I’ve found time and again is that my clients are looking for something much deeper than just symptom management.

My clients often come in with the same idea - fix this (e.g., get rid of anxiety, learn to set boundaries) and it will all fall into place. As we work together, it becomes clear that much more is going on - for many, what they’re really looking for is a new kind of relationship - both with themselves and with others.

In therapy, we can explore these relationships, understand past experiences and how they may have shaped your beliefs about yourself and the world, and learn to show up and find meaning in your life without letting uncomfortable experiences take over. 

In terms of relationships with ourselves, many folks I talk to spend so much energy pushing away uncomfortable internal experiences (e.g., anxiety, negative self-talk) that they don’t have space for meaning, connection, and compassion with themselves. In relationships with others, it might look like feeling the drive to please others, or fearing being “too much.” The goal in therapy isn’t to erase these uncomfortable experiences, but actually to learn how to connect with them, understand them better, and show up in your life without letting them take over. Therapy is a space to get curious about where these tendencies come from and how they might be keeping you from feeling genuinely secure in your connections.

So, whether you’re considering therapy or you’re already in it, remember that this process isn’t about “fixing” you. It’s about creating a new relationship with yourself that feels secure and trusting and forming relationships with others that feel aligned with your own personal values.

What It Means to Be Sober Curious (and why it might be for you)

Have you ever woken up after a wine-fueled girls night and felt more than just the hangover? Maybe there’s a sense of regret about something you said, or a feeling of disconnection from yourself, your values or the moment you’re in. For many women with high functioning anxiety, alcohol isn’t just a social lubricant; it’s also a bandaid – and it’s starting to peel off.

Welcome to the world of being sober curious: the space where you start questioning your relationship with booze without necessarily committing to a lifetime of saying no.

What Does “Sober Curious” Actually Mean?

Sober curious doesn’t mean you’ve hit “rock bottom” or have alcohol use disorder. It’s not about labeling yourself - it’s about recognizing patterns in your drinking, like always reaching for that second (or third) glass when life feels overwhelming or using alcohol to quiet the voice in your head.

For many high-achieving women, drinking often becomes a way to “let go” of the constant pressure to perform. But here’s the catch: alcohol can actually amplify the self-doubt and second-guessing you’re trying to escape from. The courage it offers in the moment often turns into shame or anxiety the next day.

Why Are Women Like You Quitting Drinking?

1. You want deeper connection. Drinking can make you feel more connected in the moment, but over time it can leave your relationships feeling superficial. If you’re someone who already struggles to trust others, drinking can create a false sense of safety - one that disappears when the buzz wears off. Quitting drinking gives you the chance to show up authentically, even if it feels scary at first.

2. Your anxiety is getting worse. That post-drink anxiety spiral? It’s not your imagination. Alcohol disrupts your brain’s ability to regulate stress, which means what felt like a shortcut to relaxation can backfire in the long run. If you’re already prone to overthinking and self-doubt, alcohol might be making things worse.

3. You want to get to know yourself again. It’s hard to hear your own voice when you’re drowning it out with a drink. Exploring sobriety, whether it’s for a weekend, a month, or longer, gives you space to reconnect with your emotions, desires, and boundaries. It’s an opportunity to get to know yourself better.

How to Start Your Sober Curious Journey

1. Get curious without judgment. Instead of labeling your drinking as “good” or “bad,” try to notice patterns. Do you drink when you feel uncomfortable at social events? When you’re celebrating a big win? When you’re trying to escape feelings of failure? Awareness is the first step to making intentional choices.

2. Experiment with alternatives. Mocktails aren’t just for kids or designated drivers. Finding a ritual, like mixing a refreshing non-alcoholic drink or sipping tea, can give you the same sense of indulgence without the aftermath. Plus, many sober curious women report feeling more present and connected to their surroundings when booze isn’t involved.

3. Find your people. Choosing sobriety, even temporarily, can feel isolating if your social circle revolves around boozy brunches and happy hours. Consider joining a community of like-minded women who are also exploring their relationship with alcohol. Sometimes, simply knowing you’re not the only one can make it feel more doable.

4. Be honest with yourself about the challenges. Exploring sobriety isn’t always easy. You might feel the pull of old habits or the sting of awkwardness at your first alcohol-free party. But each time you choose presence over numbing, you’re strengthening your ability to trust yourself, a skill that spills over into every area of your life.

If you’ve been questioning your relationship with alcohol, this may be your sign to lean into that curiosity. You don’t need a plan or a label - just a willingness to explore what’s possible. You might just find that the connection, clarity, and self-trust you’ve been searching for were never at the bottom of a glass to begin with.

9 Common Mistakes When It Comes to Anxiety

None of us were born knowing how to deal with anxiety. It’s something many of us grapple with at some point in our lives, and sometimes we handle it in ways that make it worse, rather than better. Read on to see some common mistakes people make when dealing with anxiety. Take note of which you notice in your own life in order to start more effectively navigating anxious moments.

1. Avoiding

Avoiding situations or activities that trigger anxiety may provide temporary relief, but it reinforces avoidance behaviors and prevents you from developing effective coping skills in the long term.

2. Overthinking

If overthinking is familiar for you, this is your reminder to check yourself. Excessive rumination and overanalyzing situations can actually exacerbate anxiety symptoms and lead to a cycle of negative thinking.

3. Self Medicating

Turning to alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb anxiety symptoms is common in many cultures. However, this habit can actually worsen anxiety over time, and can eventually lead to dependence.

4. Isolating

Withdrawing from social interactions and support networks can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and isolation, worsening anxiety symptoms. Consider how you might engage with a friend, acquaintance, or family member this week.

5. Perfectionism

Setting unrealistic standards and expecting perfection can fuel anxiety and create undue stress in both personal and professional endeavors. Notice where you might be able to loosen the reins a bit.

6. Neglecting Physical Health

Neglecting physical health factors such as exercise, nutrition, and sleep can contribute to increased anxiety levels and decreased resilience. Finding someone who can support you in this can be particularly helpful

7. Procrastination

Putting off tasks or responsibilities due to anxiety is understandable. However, it can lead to increased stress and feelings of overwhelm in the long run, when things pile up or get to the last minute.

8. Comparing to others

Constantly comparing oneself to others and their perceived accomplishments can fuel feelings of inadequacy and contribute to anxiety. Begin to notice who and what you compare yourself to most.

9. Avoiding professional help

Delaying or avoiding seeking professional help for anxiety symptoms can prolong suffering and prevent you from accessing effective treatment options. There is help out there.

Recognizing these common mistakes can help you make positive changes in managing your anxiety and seek support when needed. Learning healthy coping strategies and seeking professional guidance can lead to feeling more able to engage in life, helping improve your overall well-being.

4 Things Your Anxious Friend Wants You to Know

Anxiety can be tough to understand, especially if you haven’t experienced it yourself. At the same time, if you have a friend who struggles with anxiety, understanding their needs that can make a world of difference in how you support them. Gaining a better understanding of their experience can help you to strengthen your friendship and offer the right kind of support when they need it most.

1. It means a lot when you listen.

Active listening and validation go a long way for all relationships, and those with anxiety are no exception. They may doubt their own experiences and opinions, so taking time to understand and validate their struggles nonjudgmentally can mean the world.

2. Please be patient.

Anxiety often makes it difficult to articulate one’s thoughts or make decisions quickly. Being patient can communicate the value you place on the relationship and is a powerful way to show empathy for their experience.

3. I’m sorry for our canceled plans.

Anxiety often shows up in ways that cause the anxious person to retreat to perceived “safety.” This doesn’t mean the person doesn’t value you and enjoy your company. For some, it can be helpful to talk about the “why” behind canceled plans, rather than feeling shame.

4. Affirmations are really helpful.

Anxious minds are often full of self-critical thoughts and judgments. Verbal affirmations can help an anxious person to ground in reality and to feel comfortable being themselves in their relationships.

Each person who has anxiety will have different experiences and needs. Above all, when considering how to best support the anxious person in your life, ask them.

Managing Distractions at Work as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

For highly sensitive individuals, navigating through distractions can feel like a constant uphill battle. Difficulty focusing can feel particularly distressing, which can affect your mood, further impacting your ability to focus. Here are a few strategies to help you to stay calm and focused during the workday and thrive in your work environment.

1. Recognize Sensory Overload

Highly sensitive individuals often have a heightened sensitivity to external stimuli. Identify which sensory inputs overwhelm you the most. Whether it’s bright lights, loud noises, or crowded spaces, labeling this for yourself can help you identify ways to regulate and make yourself more comfortable.

2. Create a safe haven

Designate a calming space at work where you can retreat when sensory input becomes too much. Personalize it with soothing elements like soft lighting, comfortable seating, and noise canceling headphones.

3. Establish Clear Boundaries

Advocate for yourself by setting boundaries with your colleagues and supervisors. Communicate your need for quiet work time and ask for accommodations that support your emotional well-being.

4. Harness the Power of Routine

Structure your workday with a consistent routine to minimize surprises and increase predictability. Knowing what to expect can help alleviate anxiety and improve your ability to stay focused.

5. Embrace mindfulness

Find and use mindfulness techniques that work for you to anchor yourself in the present moment and cultivate resilience against distractions. Practice mindful breathing or grounding exercises to center yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Remember, your sensitivity is a gift, not a weakness. By using these strategies and honoring your unique needs, you can create a work environment that honors your strengths and supports your well-being.

Is It Self-Care or Self-Sabotage?

Do you ever wonder if some of your coping strategies could be hurting more than they are helping? You might wonder - when is something effective when it comes to coping, and when does it turn to a form of avoidance? Read on to learn about some “tells” for when your self-care might be drifting into self-sabotage.

1. Ignoring Your Emotions

If your self-care is serving you primarily by allowing you to avoid difficult feelings, you may want to reconsider it. Avoiding your feelings may provide temporary relief, but it prevents true healing and resolution. Check in with what emotions you may be avoiding and why they are showing up.

2. Procrastination

Sometimes we use self-care to avoid doing the things we need to do. Putting off tasks or responsibilities only adds to your stress and anxiety in the long run. Definitely take breaks as needed, and break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and tackle them one at a time.

3. Social Isolation

While it’s absolutely okay to take care of yourself If you need a break from social events, if you notice yourself continuing to say no, this might be an area to look at. Retreating from social interactions can intensify feelings of loneliness and exacerbate mental health struggles.

4. Substance Abuse:

Ever feel tired or frustrated and turn to a glass of wine to turn down the volume? While understandable, this might play into self-sabotage if it's preventing you from engaging in other valued activities.

5. Avoiding Challenges

Like social events, assess what you can handle and say no when needed. However, if you notice you haven’t taken up a challenge recently, you may be avoiding. Stepping outside your comfort zone is essential for personal growth, learning, and development.

As you can see, the line between self-care and self-sabotage can feel blurry. Remember - true self-care uplifts and empowers you, while self-sabotage often leans into avoidance and holds you back. Take some time to notice which of these you tend toward, and make a commitment this week to notice where these show up.

7 Myth-Busting Facts about Attachment Styles

With the increase in information about attachment styles comes plenty of myths about these styles and their impact on our lives. Here are some myth-busting facts to help you get more familiar with attachment styles.

1. Attachment styles are not fixed.

While they may develop early in life, they can evolve and change over time through experiences and relationships.

2. Having a secure attachment style doesn’t mean you’re perfect.

Even individuals with secure attachment styles may experience challenges in relationships.

3. Attachment styles are not solely determined by parenting.

While early caregiving experiences can influence attachment, other factors such as genetics, temperament, and life experiences also play a role.

4. Not all insecure attachment styles are the same.

There are different types of insecure attachment, including anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant, each with distinct characteristics. Moreover, these will show up differently for each individual!

5. Attachment styles are not always obvious.

Some individuals may display different attachment behaviors in different relationships or situations.

6. Attachment styles can be influenced by therapy.

With the help of therapy, individuals can develop more secure attachment patterns and improve their relationships.

7. Attachment styles are not solely about romantic relationships.

They can also impact relationships with friends, family members, and even colleagues.

Attachment styles can influence much of our lives, and they can be a particularly helpful thing to address in psychotherapy. For more information on how this might help you personally, contact me.

What is EMDR and How Can It Help Me?

EMDR (Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapeutic technique that helps individuals process and integrate distressing memories and experiences through bilateral stimulation. It can be used to treat trauma or other emotional difficulties, including anxiety and depression.

What is Bilateral Stimulation?

A central part of EMDR is what’s called “bilateral stimulation.” Bilateral stimulation is the use of eye movements, taps, or sounds to stimulate both sides of your body/brain. This might look like tapping your shoulders, following a light with your eyes, or hearing an alternating sound in headphones. The method used can depend on preference, method of therapy (virtual vs in-person), accessibility, and more. For example, many therapists have clients tap their shoulders using a “butterfly hug” position, where the arms are crossed over the chest and the hands tap opposite shoulders. 

EMDR for Trauma

EMDR is particularly effective in treating trauma-related conditions, including PTSD, by helping people reprocess traumatic memories and alleviate associated symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, and hypervigilance.

EMDR for Emotional Difficulties

EMDR can also help with other issues by resolving underlying negative beliefs and emotions. For example, EMDR can help with anxiety, depression, phobias, and low self-esteem.

Whether you’re seeking relief from trauma related symptoms or aiming to overcome emotional barriers, EMDR offers a path toward greater well-being and fulfillment. If you have questions about whether EMDR might be a good fit for you, please contact me or reach out to another qualified clinician.

6 Ways Your Anxiety is Lying to You

When we feel anxious, various thoughts come to mind, and taking these thoughts too seriously often prolongs the feeling of anxiety. Here are some common categories of thoughts accompanying anxiety, as well as examples of how your anxiety is convincing you to stay anxious. As you read through these, notice which ones show up the most for you in your life.

1. Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing can lead to increased anxiety by envisioning worst-case scenarios and exaggerating negative outcomes beyond realistic proportions. An example of this might be making a small mistake at work and thinking that you will be fired and end up homeless. 

2. Emotional Reasoning

Emotional reasoning occurs when your emotions dictate your perceptions. This can lead to irrational conclusions about yourself and the world and result in worsened anxiety. For example, when you feel uneasy in a crowded room, emotional reasoning might lead you to assume everyone is judging you and dislikes you. In this example, your perception is based solely on your emotions.

3. Mind Reading

Mind-reading fuels anxiety by presuming to know what others’ thoughts are. This often leads to further worry and anxiety-led behavior. An example of this would be assuming, without evidence, that colleagues think poorly of your presentation at work, fueling anxiety and self-doubt.

4. Fortune Telling

Fortune telling involves predicting negative outcomes without evidence. This can lead to worry and preemptive distress about the future. For example, approaching a job interview, you might believe that it will go poorly. This can lead to anxiety and actually undermine your confidence during the actual interview.

5. Control Fallacies

Control fallacies occur when one assumes responsibility for external events and tries to exercise that control to prevent negative outcomes; control fallacies can also refer to one feeling powerless over any changes or events. For example, you might feel responsible for a project’s failure, even though external factors and other colleagues contributed - this could lead to increased anxiety and self-blame if gone unchecked.

6. All-or-Nothing Thinking

All-or-nothing thinking, also known as black-and-white thinking, involves seeing situations rigidly, often in terms of success or failure. This fosters a fear of failure and dismisses any middle ground or nuance. For example, when preparing to give a speech, you might believe that any mistake will lead to complete failure, leading to anxiety before the event.

Each of these distortions can significantly increase anxiety, but noticing them and naming them can help take their power away. Practice recognizing these distortions, and notice which show up the most for you this week. As your self-awareness increases, you will likely find that the grip of the anxiety-furthering thoughts loosens, lowering the associated distress and freeing you to engage in things that truly matter to you. 

Better Understand Your Anxiety Symptoms

Anxiety can feel overwhelming and difficult to describe. Breaking it down into different categories can help you to understand what you’re feeling, feel more in control, and communicate with others. Below, we’ll go through some of the common categories of anxiety symptoms. Take note of which are most common for you. These might be helpful tools as you work to increase your awareness of patterns and responses.

Thought-Related Symptoms of Anxiety

One aspect of your anxiety to notice is your thoughts. When you are anxious, what thoughts are running to your mind? What are they like - are they critical, gentle, logical, illogical? Take a moment to write down some of the thoughts you notice. As you increase your awareness of your thoughts, some patterns might emerge. You might notice some thoughts coming up over and over in different situations. This process of awareness can help you to understand what is leading to the feeling of anxiety, as well as some beliefs underneath these thoughts.

Emotional Symptoms of Anxiety

Anxiety can come with multiple emotions attached. While fear is commonly associated with anxiety, other emotions can be involved too. This could be anger, grief, shame, or more. When you’re feeling anxious, take a moment to notice what is showing up emotionally for you, or what you may have been feeling prior to the anxiety. This will require you to slow down, which can be difficult when you’re feeling anxious. Be gentle with yourself throughout this process.

Physical Symptoms of Anxiety

Anxiety can often show up in physical symptoms. These include nausea, feelings of warmth or cold, lightheadedness, trembling, or upset stomach. For some people, these feel intense and difficult to ignore, while for others these are more subtle. As you build your awareness of your anxiety, you can begin to notice how your body reacts to it, which also gives you more opportunities to take care of yourself when anxiety rears its head.

Everyone experiences anxiety differently; some of these symptoms might show up strongly for you, while others never appear. Learning to acknowledge the different aspects of your own experience is a huge step in the journey of self-awareness and understanding. From this self-awareness, you can learn to ground, cope, and speak to yourself in a way that alleviates the distress that often accompanies anxiety.