What It Means to Be Sober Curious (and why it might be for you)
Have you ever woken up after a wine-fueled girls night and felt more than just the hangover? Maybe there’s a sense of regret about something you said, or a feeling of disconnection from yourself, your values or the moment you’re in. For many women with high functioning anxiety, alcohol isn’t just a social lubricant; it’s also a bandaid – and it’s starting to peel off.
Welcome to the world of being sober curious: the space where you start questioning your relationship with booze without necessarily committing to a lifetime of saying no.
What Does “Sober Curious” Actually Mean?
Sober curious doesn’t mean you’ve hit “rock bottom” or have alcohol use disorder. It’s not about labeling yourself - it’s about recognizing patterns in your drinking, like always reaching for that second (or third) glass when life feels overwhelming or using alcohol to quiet the voice in your head.
For many high-achieving women, drinking often becomes a way to “let go” of the constant pressure to perform. But here’s the catch: alcohol can actually amplify the self-doubt and second-guessing you’re trying to escape from. The courage it offers in the moment often turns into shame or anxiety the next day.
Why Are Women Like You Quitting Drinking?
You want deeper connection. Drinking can make you feel more connected in the moment, but over time it can leave your relationships feeling superficial. If you’re someone who already struggles to trust others, drinking can create a false sense of safety - one that disappears when the buzz wears off. Quitting drinking gives you the chance to show up authentically, even if it feels scary at first.
Your anxiety is getting worse. That post-drink anxiety spiral? It’s not your imagination. Alcohol disrupts your brain’s ability to regulate stress, which means what felt like a shortcut to relaxation can backfire in the long run. If you’re already prone to overthinking and self-doubt, alcohol might be making things worse.
You want to get to know yourself again. It’s hard to hear your own voice when you’re drowning it out with a drink. Exploring sobriety, whether it’s for a weekend, a month, or longer, gives you space to reconnect with your emotions, desires, and boundaries. It’s an opportunity to get to know yourself better.
How to Start Your Sober Curious Journey
Get curious without judgment. Instead of labeling your drinking as “good” or “bad,” try to notice patterns. Do you drink when you feel uncomfortable at social events? When you’re celebrating a big win? When you’re trying to escape feelings of failure? Awareness is the first step to making intentional choices.
Experiment with alternatives. Mocktails aren’t just for kids or designated drivers. Finding a ritual, like mixing a refreshing non-alcoholic drink or sipping tea, can give you the same sense of indulgence without the aftermath. Plus, many sober curious women report feeling more present and connected to their surroundings when booze isn’t involved.
Find your people. Choosing sobriety, even temporarily, can feel isolating if your social circle revolves around boozy brunches and happy hours. Consider joining a community of like-minded women who are also exploring their relationship with alcohol. Sometimes, simply knowing you’re not the only one can make it feel more doable.
Be honest with yourself about the challenges. Exploring sobriety isn’t always easy. You might feel the pull of old habits or the sting of awkwardness at your first alcohol-free party. But each time you choose presence over numbing, you’re strengthening your ability to trust yourself, a skill that spills over into every area of your life.
If you’ve been questioning your relationship with alcohol, this may be your sign to lean into that curiosity. You don’t need a plan or a label - just a willingness to explore what’s possible. You might just find that the connection, clarity, and self-trust you’ve been searching for were never at the bottom of a glass to begin with.