4 Things Your Anxious Friend Wants You to Know

Anxiety can be tough to understand, especially if you haven’t experienced it yourself. At the same time, if you have a friend who struggles with anxiety, understanding their needs that can make a world of difference in how you support them. Gaining a better understanding of their experience can help you to strengthen your friendship and offer the right kind of support when they need it most.

1. It means a lot when you listen.

Active listening and validation go a long way for all relationships, and those with anxiety are no exception. They may doubt their own experiences and opinions, so taking time to understand and validate their struggles nonjudgmentally can mean the world.

2. Please be patient.

Anxiety often makes it difficult to articulate one’s thoughts or make decisions quickly. Being patient can communicate the value you place on the relationship and is a powerful way to show empathy for their experience.

3. I’m sorry for our canceled plans.

Anxiety often shows up in ways that cause the anxious person to retreat to perceived “safety.” This doesn’t mean the person doesn’t value you and enjoy your company. For some, it can be helpful to talk about the “why” behind canceled plans, rather than feeling shame.

4. Affirmations are really helpful.

Anxious minds are often full of self-critical thoughts and judgments. Verbal affirmations can help an anxious person to ground in reality and to feel comfortable being themselves in their relationships.

Each person who has anxiety will have different experiences and needs. Above all, when considering how to best support the anxious person in your life, ask them.